![]() I would go home and be one person, but when I was with my friends I was show they wanted me to be and so on. I even got so good that I began believing that I was all of these different characters I was playing. I was a fantastic actress to say the least. I was always experimenting with things, always trying to fit in and would do pretty much anything to win everyones approval. I got in more trouble than all three of my brother and sisters combined. I never felt accepted and I rarely I was the rebellious child. t as the years went on I felt everything I ever did was wrong. ![]() I always wanted to fit in and have everyones approval and for everyone to be happy. I guess every family has one, but I hated that I was it. The problem was that I was the "black sheep" of the family. There is something about a sister that is so special and to this day I don't know what I would do without mine. I loved my sisters even though I was so jealous of them. I started when I was 3 because I would beg my mom to let me go to school with my sissy. I was always in trouble I remember getting in trouble and always feeling bad about myself. i think back now and try to remember instances that had happened to make me come to this conclusion. Quite honestly I remember telling my mom on several occasions when I was around 8 years old that "you just don't love me as much as you love them". I was constantly comparing myself and trying to measure up to them. I was filled with so much jealousy of my sisters that it began to define me. I never felt as a child that I was treated as fairly as my other sisters (now I know this to be false) and was always envious of their successes and compared them to what I didn't have. I would do anything to get attention even if the attention I was receiving was negative. I was born the middle child and like most people with 'middle child syndrome' I always craved attention, I was needy whiney picky. My insecurities have taken over my life and have taken away all the joy I thought I once had. Today I came accross an exert from a book talking about insecurity, and that everyone has it. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I have always been severely insecure and has always been the center of most of my problems.
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